As we took some time to send each other messages that commemorated March 8th as International Women’s Day, I couldn’t help but feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside when I thought of just how much women have constantly been brought into my life to teach, inspire, carry, encourage and pray over me at varied intervals of life. Each and every one of them were instrumental in the transformation I have undergone from a hyper-insecure, depression-ridden young woman in her mid-twenties, to one excited to usher in her 40s on account of healing, restoration and commitment to the arduous tasks associated with welcoming total reinvention.
Last Friday I hosted the Change Factor Event in Abu Dhabi alongside my sister-friend Marcia McLeod, wherein we tackled the subject of what it actually took each of us to begin to experience the changes in our lives we wanted to see. To check out pictures from the event pop by @Quintessentially_Yvonne on IG as always!
Back to what I was saying...
What sacrifices do you need to make to usher in a better and more fulfilled you? Are you surrounding yourself with people that truly value the essence of your metamorphosis, supporting you through the series of transitions that envelope you as you etch towards a happier, more vibrant you?
I spoke on the typical triggers for change; the stuff that we all experience in one form or the other that brings us to the realisation that we need to play an active role in doing things differently so things can in actual fact – BE DIFFERENT. To summarise the points shared on this afternoon accompanied by a delectable spread of canapes and exceptional company, I shared what we all know...that triggers can be…
1. Intentional – Out of our own choice
2. Natural – You are evolving, growing up, you’ve relocated and so you are adapting to your surroundings etc.
3. Life changing events – Marriage, parenting, divorce, promotion, bankruptcy, sickness - yeap - the good and the not so great events of our lives will change us.
4. By force – Unexpected loss of a loved one, a natural disaster, war breaks out or in the case of global current affairs – CORONA!!! Need I say more on that subject?
In opening the floor to in-depth conversation, it was clear that we all experience varied triggers that would warrant us to commit to making the changes we want to see. Let’s face it, sometimes life happens and enough becomes enough. Decisions need to be made and when they are, we have to usher in the good and bad in our transitions so we can experience the power of true transformation from the decisions we’ve made.
The first quarter’s almost up and maybe you are asking yourself whether there are things you’d like to see pan out differently. On my ever-evolving journey of reinvention, I’ve come to break change down into three stages, the process of which has helped me to be more gentle with myself when I feel like life and all that’s in it is getting too overwhelming:
1. The decision to change. This I deem transactional as it involves making an actual commitment to the shift. This could look like deciding to quit smoking, to not buy that expensive purse so you can buy stocks instead or taking sugar out of your diet. It takes a moment – and you may titter-totter from time to time, but hey – you’ve made the decision and now you just need to see yourself through it.
2. The transition phase of change. This is when you know what you need to do and are engaging in the process of doing things differently. It’s psychological and involves letting things go. This process is the hardest, as temptation to go back to your place of comfort always comes knocking. Those cupcakes, entertaining those late night calls with that man you know you have no business chatting with etc.…Yeah….transition challenges your commitment and this is where we all often fall short.
3. Ushering in total reinvention. Out with the old, in with the new. Now you’ve grown comfortable with your new methods and the new you as the result. You are living in the newness of being out of a toxic relationship, making smarter decisions with your money, nurturing better relationships, exercising, eating right and all-round doing right by you!
What will your “change factor” look like this year? You owe it to yourself to attack the limiting beliefs that have kept you on the train you are so ready to jump off of! Don’t let another day pass you by without making that decision! Remember, it always starts with making a decision…