Finally, the Visionary Author Tiana Patrice and I were connected via Facebook Messenger, after she had (bless her heart) tried every available option to call me using Whatsapp calling, Skype, Zoom and all the rest of them for our scheduled conference call to no avail. With some quick short questions and my super long answers to her questions, I realised that there was so much I wanted to say about conquering fear, after having recently launched my own book “Reinvented: Challenging insecurity to live authentically through faith” (available on Amazon) – whoop! Whoop!
I come from generations of women who struggled to find their footing as it relates to standing outside the shadows of their spouses, the family they married into, the joyful yet challenging responsibility of motherhood, balancing their careers, working with difficult bosses and so on. In spending a tonne of time with my mom since having become a mother myself, one of the critical lessons I learned from hanging with her and her friends – the aunties – is that there is a sense of displacement or loss that comes with their sending their kids off to boarding school, on to college to watching them move on into adulthood and attempting to master life without daily counsel and watchfulness from mom and dad. Empty-nester season rolls up, shocking them into realizing how fast time moved before the little chicks left the roost.
Sadly however, if they aren’t in a delightful and colourfully enriching marital set up (because in my culture, many view being a married is an achievement, the ultimate dream and vision to aspire to as a little girl), there is a real struggle to cope. I know many women who after their children grew up and started finding their own way in the world, they had a hard time figuring out what was to come next - single, married or otherwise. Fear kicks in and its sidekicks depression, discontentment, strife and other adverse emotions also begin paying rent in their vicinity, challenging them to either confront, or cave into the pressures of wondering whether or not they are living a life of purpose.
I thank GOD every day for blessing me with a spouse that understands my needs and supports my goals. He was raised well and I have GOD and his tenacious mom to thank for that. LORD knows being woman is so much easier when you know someone has your back – spouse, mom, dad, children, brothers, sisters, friends… Life becomes beautiful because they are right there to cheer you on when things get tough.
I am thankful for my father who in my raising me, and still today, always pushes me to be the best version of myself as I could be.
“You need to go to college and work hard so you can make yourself, your husband and your children proud Chiedza,” he would say.
My mom would chime in: “We are giving you an opportunity for exposure in faraway lands – AMERICA! – so that you can have a career better than we did. No one wants a “marry-to-feed” wife, or a friend who struggles to take care of herself because her affairs are not in order.”
The journey to where I am now has been one fraught with a myriad of challenges, however looking back, there is not one thing I regret. This is because everything that was designed to destroy me failed to because of my commitment to seeking GOD and finding out what He had put me on this earth for. It took a while, with multiple false starts but today, I am proud to say that doing life with GOD in it is yet to fail me!
Kicking fear has been a huge component of the journey. I feared a lot of things which manifested in poor self-esteem, approval addiction, lack of discipline with spending, to name but a few issues. By the grace of GOD, over time and through feeding myself with biblical teachings and nurturing relationships with people I learn from, I have seen the hand of GOD in freeing me from fear.
Which brings me to why I am journeying with other women authors to combat fear through written word. Fear and faith cannot co-exist and that’s a fact. We live in a time where the pressures tugging at us are too many to count, and the choice between faith and fear at every turn is apparent. But GOD. GOD has given us so many reasons not be afraid, the key one being because His promise is that He will never leave us nor forsake us.
I am proud to have been selected as one of the contributing authors for Tiana Patrice’s Dear Fear Volume 2 project because I know what it is to have lived a life totally controlled by a fear. I am proud of our achievements with this anthology - 2 days after launching the book is on Amazon's Bestsellers List!!!!
I'm evolving continuously such that my faith dominates every negative emotion. It’s not to say I do not have moments of anxiety from time to time, but that I have been saved by GOD’s mercy too many times to count – and I, like the Samaritan woman, want to speak of how much my Saviour has helped me to combat my insecurities by showing me how much He knows about me, and just how He walks with me when I call on Him.
We cannot grow if we do not confront self-fulfilling prophesies. We cannot address these if we do not acknowledge where our fears lie, and take on active efforts to kick fear where it hurts!
So what say you? Will you join the millions of women across the world saying “No!” to fear in one form or another?
If fear was a tangible being, what would be the first thing you would ask him/her/it?
Don’t let another day go by with your handing over your life to fear.
Don’t you want a life lived fearlessly?
To learn more about this awesome project visit www.Dearfearbook.com and follow my social media pages for updates on speakerships and upcoming book signing events!
My very best to you and yours,